A letter from Jonesy

I found a document containing some literary brain farts I used to make in the form of diary entries of a fictional madman named Jonesy. Maybe I should make a blog for him, or compile all this crap into a book. I could sell possibly TENS of copies.

Anyway, I wrote a new one:

(BEGIN)

To anyone who would like to learn to read,

It was amidst a plethora of tintillating ponderings this morning that I entertained the notion of writing a short novel. It would mainly be about a dwarf, sorry, "little midget", and only contain words that exceed no more than four letters. My favourite letter of the English alphabet coincidentally is four letters long. It is the well known "Ellemenoepee", the letter proudly following "K". My novel will, although not necessarily in this oder, feature a beginning, a middle and hopefully an end, permitting that I do not exceed my word count, which is dismally low. All of this, of course, will exist solely in the depths of my fertile imagination, an asset nurtured through excessive procrastination and atom counting on the bedroom carpet.

In the time it takes to move to a new paragraph I have totally discarded the ambition to write a novel. In it's place I have decided to build an inflatable water bathtub, for when one wishes to bathe in the sea, not using the same water. Such is my nature, to lose interest in one pursuit only to jump joyously to another without hestitation. So, my friends, once I have built my toilet-copter, (I have already tired of the bathtub), you will be the first to know and possibly receive a prototype, providing that is that I first finish my novel.

It would be rude of me not to say goodbye.......

(jonesy)

(END)

John Locke Caricature

Ladies and Gentlemen...

John Locke!

Lost is such an amazing show and Locke is one interesting character. Usually, at this point in a post, I would attempt some flamboyant retort, but it is late and my brain has fallen over.

For this picture I mainly used pencils.

Sharp ones.

Please stop writing "LOL"!

Once, in the days when I used to use Messenger (before the realisation that it sucks up your life), I was busy 'conversing' with a friend of mine who had his webcam activated. He made a comment, ending it with the seemingly oligatory 'lol'. What caught my attention was that his stone-faced expression on his webcam was anything but 'Laughing Out Loud', in fact the only 'lol-ing' happening was myself at the lack of 'lol-ing' on his end.

Why is it that we feel the need to add this little abbreviation? It's initial intention was to help portray the true feeling of the author where the text may not be enough, the same way that smilies are used. Quite often it acts as the little nervous laugh people do when in conversation, while either being polite or saying something they don't want to offend with.

Stop using it, especially in critiques! Lest we fall even deeper into a world of Orwellian Newspeak. It is ungood.

I was speaking to Krystal about this and we came up with another version of what it stands for. Whenever you feel the need to type 'LOL' (or even, I shudder to think, say the word) ask yourself, is the context actually funny? If not, remind yourself it could also stand for:

Low On Linguistics.

I'm actually in a really good mood. Lol.

Michael Palin caricature

I love Monty Python. I believe it was on a Wednesday night after cub scouts I'd pick up a bag of chips and watch comedy that was totally different to anything else that was around at the time, or indeed following that. What I'd be really interested to see is a DVD/Blu-ray compilation of all the animations that Terry Gilliam made for the series, that would make me laugh so much that I'd have to watch some contemporary comedy just to calm me down. Easy now...

Anyways, here's a caricature of Michael Palin. I'd love to sit in a room with this guy and have him just talk to me for hours about his multitude of lifetime experiences he has gained pre-Python, during Python, Ripping Yarns and all his travelling around the world. Mr Palin, in the unlikely event that you'd ever read this, here's an invitation for a cuppa.

I've been told my tea making skills is second to none.

I really have to cut down on the caffeine.

Letraset

The marker company, Letraset, kindly contacted me a while back asking if they could featured me on their website. Here it is!!!

http://www.letraset.com/design/default.asp

orrrrr....

http://www.letraset.com/design/shopcontent.asp?type=profileNeal

Woot woot!

FLASH GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ello!

In true Sylar from Heroes style, I cut off the top of the head of an ActionScripter and learnt his abilites. As a result, I've been dabbling in the world of programming and making games!

True... true...

Well, apart from the head slicing bit.

Here's my firts finished game. It's a simple thing designed at training your ability to keep track of the order of things. OK, actually I completely ripped off the idea for this from a documentary about comparing the human brain to that of the ape. There was this incredible test involving a chimp (or was it a banobo?) and a touch screen computer. A sequence of numbers would appear on the screen one at a time. When the last number appears they all turned into marks, then the chimp would touch each mark in the order the number appeared. What was facinating about this was not only was the ape able to do this task, but it was able to keep in his memory a vast sequence of numbers and touch the screen at a blinding speed!

I've jazzed the whole idea of the program up (their program had white digits on a black screen), done away with a timer that I originally had (it was too pressuring) and limited the maximum amount of numbers to 20. Most people without any system in place will probably manage about 7 as the human short term memory can only handle on average 7 'chunks' of information.

Enjoy. I'm making more!

Dusty HDD folder

I found this in my work folder, not brilliant, but hey, I'm happy to find neglected artwork!